the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
