last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
