And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
