I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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