life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
