I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
