He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
