I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
