Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
