I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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