I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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