i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
