if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
