And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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