Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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