You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
