Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
