I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
