3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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