I bet he comes in French.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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