I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
my poor anus
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize