to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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