I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
