I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
