i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize