This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
