yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
