my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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