that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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