It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
