As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
