Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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