it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
we should paint friendship bongs
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
