Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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