She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
