i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I supernannyed him into submission
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
