Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
