i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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