The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
