Christians are straight up FREAKS
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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