sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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