So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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