mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
high people should be assigned attendants
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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