so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
