therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
