Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
