I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
