I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
