i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
