I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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