I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
