That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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