i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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