do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
