Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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