tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
