thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize