is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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